January 3, 2009

Sexual Ettiquette in Islam

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , at 6:45 pm by sexandromanceinislam

In the Name of Allah, Most Beneficent, Most Merciful

Sexual intercourse is one of the best ways for married Muslims to show affection, kindness, and love toward one other. As the deen requires, this should be done first with guidance from the Quran and sunnah. The Prophet SAWS stated that a practicing Muslim is rewarded when they are sexually intimate with their marital partner. Allah SWT confirmed this in the Quran, which states:

“Your wives are a tilth unto you, thus approach your tilth from wherever you wish”. (Surahtul Al Baqarah, 223)

Here are a few references to the etiquette of sexual relations in Islam:

  • · You must first recite ‘Bismillah’ before beginning sexual intercourse. This is confirmed in hadith:

Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas, The Prophet SAWS said, “If anyone of you, when intending to have a sexual intercourse with his wife, says: ‘Bismillah, Allahumma jannibna-sh-shaitan, wa jannibi-sh-shaitan ma razaqtana,’ and if the couple are destined to have a child (out of that very sexual relation), then Satan will never be able to harm that child.” (Sahih Bukhari ,Volume 8, Book 75, Number 397)

  • · Avoid facing or turning your feet toward the qiblah. This is seen as an act of disrespect (be-adabi). Position your bed to face away from the Qiblah.
  • · Men should enter their wife gently, and must give foreplay beforehand.   Taken from hadith:

“When anyone of you comes to his wife, let him not fall suddenly upon her, but let him speak words of love to her and then kiss each other. The Prophet said: Let none of you fall suddenly upon his wife like a lower animal. Let him send the Envoy before cohabitation.

Someone asked ‘What is the Envoy O Prophet?’ He said, ‘kisses and words of love.’ The Prophet said: In three matters, the weakness of a male is disclosed. Firstly if a lover meets his beloved, and then they separate without enquiring into their mutual condition and health; secondly, rejecting the honour which someone wishes to pay him [i.e., by rejecting a gift which was offered]; thirdly to engage in sexual intercourse with the wife or the female who is legally permitted, without talking to her or kissing her or by being unable to restrain the ejaculation of semen before that of his wife. “

  • Sexual intercourse during menstruation is haram. However, it is allowed to caress the wife anywhere above her waist, as the Prophet SAWS did, as affirmed in the hadith:

A’isha RAA reported: “ When anyone amongst us was menstruating the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) asked her to tie waist-wrapper daring the time when the menstrual blood profusely flowed and then embraced her ; and she (‘A’isha) observed: And who amongst you can have control over his desires as the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) had over his desires.” (Sahih Muslim, Book 3, Number 0578)