January 18, 2009

Hints to revive romance in your marriage

Posted in Uncategorized at 6:02 pm by sexandromanceinislam

In the name of Allah, Most Beneficent, Most Merciful

So after the nikah, the work is over, right? Of course not! The daily grind of work, children, and daily chores can put a strain on the romance in any marriage, whether the couple has been married for five months or twelve years. Also, communication problems may weaken your marital bond. Here are a few hints to rekindle the romance in any marriage:

  • Read a few suwar of Quran together after magrib or isha prayers. Allah t’ala heals all wounds and the wisdom of his words will help bring you closer to Allah and closer to each other.

  • Go on a date – make reservations at your favorite restaurant, or simply take a walk in the park together. This will bring back memories of what attracted you to one another in the first place.

  • Plan an evening away from home in a nice hotel or plan a dream vacation.

Ab Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another. (Sahih Muslim, Book 8, Number 3469)


  • Hand-write love letters to each other or simply call one another to let your partner know how much you love them for the pleasure of Allah. You may also Place hidden love notes in his/her lunch, on the bathroom mirror, or his/her briefcase.
  • Give your husband a massage. You may give him a simple back rub or a full body massage with essential oils.
  • Help her with the household chores once in a while. When you realize how much she contributes to the household, you will better appreciate her. The Prophet SAWS used to help his wives with chores:

Aisha (raa) was asked by Al-Aswad b. Yazid what the Prophet used to do in the house. She replied: “He used to work for his family, that is serve his family, and when prayer time came, he went out for prayer.” (Sahih Bukhari)

  • Take up a hobby together. Introduce your partner to a personal hobby of yours.

January 3, 2009

Sexual Ettiquette in Islam

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , at 6:45 pm by sexandromanceinislam

In the Name of Allah, Most Beneficent, Most Merciful

Sexual intercourse is one of the best ways for married Muslims to show affection, kindness, and love toward one other. As the deen requires, this should be done first with guidance from the Quran and sunnah. The Prophet SAWS stated that a practicing Muslim is rewarded when they are sexually intimate with their marital partner. Allah SWT confirmed this in the Quran, which states:

“Your wives are a tilth unto you, thus approach your tilth from wherever you wish”. (Surahtul Al Baqarah, 223)

Here are a few references to the etiquette of sexual relations in Islam:

  • · You must first recite ‘Bismillah’ before beginning sexual intercourse. This is confirmed in hadith:

Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas, The Prophet SAWS said, “If anyone of you, when intending to have a sexual intercourse with his wife, says: ‘Bismillah, Allahumma jannibna-sh-shaitan, wa jannibi-sh-shaitan ma razaqtana,’ and if the couple are destined to have a child (out of that very sexual relation), then Satan will never be able to harm that child.” (Sahih Bukhari ,Volume 8, Book 75, Number 397)

  • · Avoid facing or turning your feet toward the qiblah. This is seen as an act of disrespect (be-adabi). Position your bed to face away from the Qiblah.
  • · Men should enter their wife gently, and must give foreplay beforehand.   Taken from hadith:

“When anyone of you comes to his wife, let him not fall suddenly upon her, but let him speak words of love to her and then kiss each other. The Prophet said: Let none of you fall suddenly upon his wife like a lower animal. Let him send the Envoy before cohabitation.

Someone asked ‘What is the Envoy O Prophet?’ He said, ‘kisses and words of love.’ The Prophet said: In three matters, the weakness of a male is disclosed. Firstly if a lover meets his beloved, and then they separate without enquiring into their mutual condition and health; secondly, rejecting the honour which someone wishes to pay him [i.e., by rejecting a gift which was offered]; thirdly to engage in sexual intercourse with the wife or the female who is legally permitted, without talking to her or kissing her or by being unable to restrain the ejaculation of semen before that of his wife. “

  • Sexual intercourse during menstruation is haram. However, it is allowed to caress the wife anywhere above her waist, as the Prophet SAWS did, as affirmed in the hadith:

A’isha RAA reported: “ When anyone amongst us was menstruating the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) asked her to tie waist-wrapper daring the time when the menstrual blood profusely flowed and then embraced her ; and she (‘A’isha) observed: And who amongst you can have control over his desires as the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) had over his desires.” (Sahih Muslim, Book 3, Number 0578)